I've been in and out of xanga checking just one of my subscriptions. It seems that one of my xanga friends doesn't update anymore...might have even passed away seeing as the latest weblog mentioned surgery...who knows. I just wish the best for her. Anyways life has been interesting and it seems that my college career is finally worthwhile. Classes have been relatively good with mostly A's. Unfortunately the classes that count are in the Bs and hell teres even a C. I'm really hoping I'll make the program and it seems possible. There's a problem though, even if I make sicced the road to graduation only gets tougher. This means even less practice time for my band and virtually no social life. I really hope this all pays off in the end.

I've been a real fool this past few months. I constantly struggle with my sins and faith yet I don't turn for help. Smites I'm even proud of my acts. Reading the Bible is almost never done and it scares me. Its funny how I keep praying to the Lord for guidance, strength, and academic success but I never do anything in return for Him. Sometimes it might just be my tracker in grades this semester. I have doubts that I will do well however my grades suffice. Consequently my grades could be better and it greatly impacts my chance to get into the program. I guess I'm angry at God for putting me in limbo...for making me uncertain about my future. If I don't succeed I have no idea what to do with my life. Nursing is the only thing I'm really interested in. There's also philosophy and music but I lack in musical talent. Moreover I won't be able to do anything occupation wise with philosophy. So its a dead end and I won't be fancily supported forever.

Specifically this college semester has been stressful. I haven't been able to make outstanding friends. No dates except for that one girl who I can't stand anymore. Dating is on hold for now and knowing Liberty its going to be a long time before anything happens. On a funnier note alot of guys on campus are going bonkers for this really emo looking chick. They don't admit it but nearly every guy on the Circle and Quads knows who it is. I've talked to this girl, and shes sweet but talks like a pothead. Her boyfriend isn't to fond of me I could tell. Darn I should be studying now. As of this moment a relative of mine is being picked  up at the airport. I have no idea who he is. Perhaps an energy drink will help...